Toward Gratitude Embodiment

This blog is outlined with my personal experience of gratitude, the current state of Thanksgiving celebration (admittingly with sarcasm and a bent toward vegetarianism), and a practical approach to implementing gratitude as a daily practice with a goal of gratitude embodiment.

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In 1995 when I was 19 years old, I packed my car and drove to Hollywood, CA. 3,000 miles away from my hometown is where I found my deep long lasting gratitude in life.

Here is my path to the embodiment of gratitude.

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I grew up in a privileged community, where the streets are safe, there are rarely any crimes, and in fact, no fast food restaurants were allowed in city limits.

My family was ‘normal.’ I had loving parents, a younger sister and a dog named Bliss.  I played athletics and had fun with my friends.

After high school, instead of accepting two full ride scholarship opportunities for athletics, I worked three jobs and followed my dreams to California. Little did I know the profound awakening I would have to the deepest sense of gratitude imaginable.

This was my first experience living outside of my suburban ‘bubble.’

While living for 3 months in the center of Hollywood, I encountered the following for the first time in my life:

Homelessness

10 year old gang members selling crack

14 year old male and female prostitutes

A land lady with multiple personality disorder – who lived next door

Skunks in the garage

People who would talk to you only if you could do something for them

A $5 Christmas bonus from a billion dollar family

In one of my first days of beginning my California dreams, I was looking for an apartment.  I was driving down Hollywood Boulevard at 7am on a Saturday morning and I saw something that would be placed in my memory forever.  

I watched a man barely crawl as he was dragging himself on the sidewalk.  He was dirty and dressed in rags.  He had no legs, no wheelchair and no one around him. 

This was one of the most pitiful moments I experienced that made me reflect on exactly what I had in life that a lot of others were without.

Health

Love

Kindness

Support

Safety

Encouragement

Opportunity

Just to name a few. 

After three months of giving the Hollywood life a ‘go’, I decided to move back home to pursue college education.

I would have never guessed how this short trip would have spearheaded my education all the way from age 20 – 32. 

Showing me the value of education was just one lesson Hollywood shared with me, the other was a profound sense of gratitude that actually put me into therapy.

Upon my return home, I would cry every moment I realized a sense of privilege in my life.  I literally was balling my eyes out one day while reading each chapter of Chicken Soup for the Soul. 

It became my mission to become a Gratitude Ambassador and espouse this value on younger generations (whom I was coaching in sport). I wanted to impart on to them, exactly how much privilege they have in life.  I did my best to enlighten them the only problem they have in life is to know where they are going for midwinter break and that was a blessing!

After a few months of literally crying over French fries at a diner  (because I was so grateful for food, warmth and safety) I decided to go to see a therapist.

I became an endless pool filled with tears of gratitude.

After a few sessions of therapy, I understood what was happening to me and I was okay with it.

I built my character strength of gratitude. Gratitude is a psychological state that aids in boosting happiness. My tears of gratitude actually led me to access tear based states of joy and bliss.

It is a skill and a practice.

It is a prized human experience as it allows your heart to open, expand, breath deep, and open to a sense of fulfillment and contentment. 

In the immortal words of the singer Sheryl Crow, ‘It’s not what you want, it’s what you got.”

When taking the VIA Character strengths test, which is Positive Psychology’s way of helping you understand what is good about you,

I found out gratitude is my second greatest strength and I was in the 100 percentile of my experience.

Now, I teach gratitude in my 5 step process of sustainable happiness.

It is based in step 2: creating a positive mood and is encouraged as part of a daily morning routine with special guidance. 

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This life event triggered the profound sense of gratitude, which has become more of an embodiment over my lifetime.  In 2007, I published a chapter in a book similar to Chicken Soup for the Soul, yet it highlighted stories of inspiration in tragedy when gratitude literally seems impossible. This chapter takes a view of how I look at a lot of the life challenges I encountered through the lens of gratitude. The chapter is called Thank God I was Fat, Ugly, Poor, Divorced and live in Chronic Pain.  The theme of the chapter explained how I came to understand sustainable happiness was within myself.

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NOTE - Even though my childhood years were mostly happy and care free, I had many larger challenges over the course of my lifetime.

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When it comes to Thanksgiving and when the rest of America focuses on their gratitude, it makes me reflect even deeper at the collectivist messages of a profound character strength.

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In 2014, never would I have guessed my current thinking around this gratitude based holiday would have become so extreme.

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I have witnessed Americans fight and turkeys die.

Days prior to Thanksgiving, Americans are in uproar and violent protests for racism.

I hear about turkeys attacking humans ?!

(My grandparents own land where wild turkeys live.  It is hard for me to imagine this!)

I watched a video where the President ‘pardons’ a turkey from being slaughtered and he calls it ‘puzzling’. Later this video would go viral due to social criticism.

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Most of the American population celebrated this holiday with eating a turkey. A lot of organizations and values of thought are against this mass slaughtering of an animal for human celebration. Therefore, creating a controversy akin to abortion!

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I even saw a cartoon where an American Childhood icon, Big Bird of Sesame Street was dead and decapitated in the center of the table.   His ‘friends’ from Sesame Street were looking like they could hardly wait to ‘devour’ him. 

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Gratitude is practiced while feasting around a dead animal, drinking intoxicants, & watching violent sports.

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And the good ole American way, espouses the ‘pursuit’ of happiness so of course the conversations in the media and among social circles is one of consumerism on the following day, ‘Black Friday.’ Which is racially controversial.

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At the end of the day, people pass out due to the tryptophan in turkey, and drift away in the midst of intoxification, family drama, with violent sport highlights swarming among their heads anticipating consumerism early the following morning.

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Not to mention all the violence that breaks out in shopping malls and stores, as Americans must ‘get the best deal’ putting their fellow humanity behind obtaining the right object for the right price. Promoting materialism.

Mass Slaughter, Intoxification, Violent Sports, Consumerism, Materialism

Seem to be the current celebration of Thanksgiving.

It’s nice that Americans want to think about gratitude once a year wrapped in the gift wrap of killing, drinking, attack, buying, and having. <insert sarcasm>

How does this truly reflect the essence of Gratitude?

You may wonder, what I did on Thanksgiving. I consciously created grateful thoughts moment to moment. I spent the day with loved ones providing acts of kindness, fasted in the name of all turkeys, and watched a movie on a natural disaster where a family beats the impossible and survives thus furthering my gratitude awareness even deeper.

Instead of thinking about gratitude once a year through a warped lens, I encourage you to move toward the embodiment of gratitude.

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I would love to introduce a new way for Americans and others around the world to develop a daily gratitude practice that touches your heart instead of leading you astray. 

5 Steps to experiencing Gratitude Daily

1. Pick something you do everyday (brushing teeth, drinking coffee, exercise, shower, etc)
2. Decide to do a gratitude practice during this time
3. Set a time to start and end your gratitude practice (30 seconds to 1 min)
4. Use the structure: "I am grateful for ____ because it adds ____ to my life."
5. Never repeat.

Creating a gratitude practice is recommended by happiness science and my sustainable happiness mentors.

"Research shows that expressing gratitude positively correlates with life satisfaction, optimism, longevity, and lower levels of anxiety and depression (Peterson & Seligman, 2004). One of the most widely used interventions for boosting this VIA character strength is the act of counting one’s blessings." 

Dr. Bob teaches the difference between gratitude and appreciation being gratitude is the output and appreciation is the input.

Jinendra Swami, Messenger of Sustainable Happiness taught me how to access deep gratitude by teaching me the structure of gratitude.

I remember one conversation with Swami Jinendra where he coyly said,

“Aymee, if you are breathing, you need to be grateful.”

It is true, you are given the gift of life; to experience it, to be in it, to have the human experience.

We can move away from the messages of astray during this time of year and ‘boil’ our experience down to the simplest of life; a single breath.

Imagine our global population moving to become gratitude embodiment. 

Where each thought was grateful. 

We are grateful for our breath, our legs, our food, our shelter, our family, our pets, our parks, our planet, and the list is infinite.

I inspire you to adopt a gratitude practice daily with the goal of becoming an embodiment of gratitude.

Dr Aymee Coget

Sustainable Happiness Doctor

Author of Forthcoming Book : Sustainable Happiness in 5 Steps

sfhappinessdoctor at gmail dot com

www.happinessmakeover.com
5 Steps Audio Program