Definitions:
Eliminate – to remove
Negative- undesirable
Emotion – an affective state as the result of a thought
When people first are introduced to the concept of sustainable happiness, many times there is a look of disbelief as what I am saying is contrary to everything they know.
One of the common understandings of happiness in general is that it is a fleeting emotion that comes sometimes in your life.
Another understanding is that we have a repertoire of emotions the idea of only focusing on one seems to be contrary to the human experience?
Why would you want to be happy all of the time?
If you are happy all the time, then you must be out of touch with reality.
Why would I want to help people become bubbling happy idiots for no reason who block their natural emotional human experience?
By no means am I suggesting people ignore, repress or rid themselves of any ‘negative’ emotions.
The human brain is an active and complex bio-phenomenon and the human mind is a multidimensional invisible constantly changing affective state that is adjusting to the current moment.
The mind over matter concept is one I do believe in.
However,
Do I believe it is possible to Eliminate Negative Emotions? No
Do I tell people to Eliminate Negative Emotions? No.
Do I expect people to Eliminate Negative Emotions? No.
Do I think it would be detrimental to Eliminate Negative Emotions? YES.
Do I think it is possible to control your Negative Emotional Experience? YES.
Do I think it is important to learn emotional regulation and intelligence? YES.
Have I eliminated negative emotions from my life even after 18 years of happiness immersion? No.
Putting the value connotation on an emotional experience has its consequences.
Yes, psychology, positive and traditional label emotions as negative and positive.
Some ‘negative’ emotions help you languish and some ‘positive’ emotions help you flourish.
So the push toward the positive really does have a biological reason that benefits you however we know the world that upsets us day in and day out does not stop.
People say and do things all of the time that hurt my feelings.
I look at a lot of the ‘negative’ news in the world and I don’t feel ‘happy!’
Terrible things have happened to me to make me sad, upset, angry, scared, resentful, and disappointed. Some of which have me managing trauma on a daily basis.
So all the ‘cherry on top’ or ‘frosting on the cake’ you want to make sustainable happiness out to be, is inaccurate.
Every single person has struggles, challenges, obstacles, and people places or things in their life where navigating the waters of negativity becomes the truth instead of running away from the negative experience or turning your back or repressing or ignoring it exists; I introduce the concept of resiliency.
This is step three of sustainable happiness.
One where skills are taught, emotional intelligence is heightened, time in a ‘negative’ state is lessoned and greater well being is the consequence and the reward.
“Negative’ emotions are here to stay in our brain as our thoughts will create them.
The purpose of the human experience in self development is to grow, learn, manage, and become aware of your thoughts and perceptions as it relates to the outside world.
In the teaching of sustainable happiness, happiness is more than an emotional state, which is only one type of happiness.
So do I plan on eliminating negative emotions?
No.
I plan on educating people on how to identify the cause of the emotional experience, grow awareness as to why it is present, honor the experience and use tools from positive psychology to ignite resiliency to build resources internally and externally. Consequently increasing well being.
Dr Aymee Coget
Sustainable Happiness Doctor
Author of Forthcoming Book : Sustainable Happiness in 5 Steps
sfhappinessdoctor at gmail dot com
